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1.PresidentCarter’s“Funny”JokeSoonafterCarterinauguratedthePresidentofU.S.,hewenttovisitJapan.InaninterviewwithDavidLetterman,Carterpassedalongananecdoteofatranslationproblem.CarterwasspeakingatabusinesslunchinTokyo,wherehedecidedtoopenhisspeechwithabriefjoke.Hetoldthejoke,thenwaitedforthetranslatortoannouncetheJapaneseversion.Eventhoughthestorywasquiteshort,Carterwassurprisedbyhowquicklytheinterpreterwasabletoretellit.Evenmoreimpressivewashowthebriefjokeelicitedastormofapplause.Carterthoughtthestorywascute,butnotoutrighthilarious,yetthecrowdbrokerightup.Carterwasveryflattered.Afterthespeech,Carterwantedtomeetthetranslatortoaskhimhowhetoldthejoke.Perhapsthereisbetterwaytotellthejoke?WhenCarteraskedhowthejokehadbeentoldinJapanese,thetranslatorresponded,”I,didn’tinterpretthejokeliterally.Itoldthem,PresidentCarterhastoldaveryfunnyjoke.Pleaselaughnow.”2.Onebrilliantkid!AmedievalDukeoftheroyaltywashuntingintheforestwithhisservantsandahoundwhenhecameacrossanoaktree.Uponit,archerytargetswerepaintedandthesmackinthemiddleofeachwasanarrow.“Whoisthisincrediblyfabulousarcher?”criedtheduke,“Imustendeavortofindhim!”Aftercontinuingthroughtheforestforafewmileshecameacrossasmallboyoutfittingabowandarrow.Eventuallythetimidboyadmittedthatitwashewhoshotthearrowsplumbinthecenterofallthetargets.“Youdidn’tjustwalkuptothetargetsandhammerthearrowsintothemiddle,didyou?”askedthedukeworriedly.“Nomylord,Ishotthemfromahundredpaces.IwarrantyoubyallthatIholdholy.”“Thatistrulyastonishing,”saidtheduke,“Iherebyabolishyou’reyourslaveryandadmityouintomyservice.”Theboythankedhimprofusely.“ButImustaskonefavorinreturn,”thedukecontinued,“Youmusttellmehowyoucametobesuchanconspicuousshot.”“Well,”saidtheadolescent,“ForemostIfirethearrowatthetree……andthenIpaintthetargetaroundtheshaftofthearrow.”3.AFishTaleAbig-timenegotiatorwasoutfishingonedaywhenhecaughtastrangelookingfish.Hereeledthefishin,unhookedit,andthrewitonthedeckoftheyacht.Thefishstartedflippinginagonyand,tothenegotiator’ssurprise,“PleasethrowmebackintothelakeandI’llgrantyhouthreewishes.”“Anythreewishes,huh?”thenegotiator’seyeskindledwithjoy,envisagingexpensivefastcars,luxuriousmansionswithair-conditioningsandbeautifulwomen.“Fish,”hefinallyexclaimed,“”GivemefivewishesandI’llthrowyouback.”“Sorry,”thefishansweredwhileskippingforbreath,“onlythreewishes.”Thenegotiator’spridewasatstakeandaftergivingthemattersomethoughtheannounced,“Whatdoyoutakemefor?Asucker?I’llsettleforfourwishes.”“Onlythree,”thefishmurmuredweakly.Fuming,themancontendedforthatoneextrawish.Finally,thenegotiatorthoughtitwasn’tworthlookingagiftfishinthemouthandmadethedefinitivedecision,“Allright,fish,youwin,threewishes.”Unfortunately,bythenthefishexpired.4.WomenDrivers!Drivingtothewarehousetocheckinventorythismorningontheinterstatehighway,IlookedovertomyleftandtherewasarecklesswomaninabrandnewMustangdoing65milesperhourwithherfaceupnexttoherrearviewputtingonhereyeliner!”shewasluckythattherewasnotapatrollingpolicecaronthehighway.IlookedawayforacouplesecondsandwhenIlookedbackshewashalfwayoverinmylane,stillworkingonthatmakeup!Itscaredme(I’maman)sohad.Idroppedmyelectricshaver,whichknockedthepumpkinbreadoutofmyotherhand.Inalltheconfusionoftryingtostraightenoutthecarusingmykneesagainstthesteeringwheel,itknockedmycellphoneawayfrommyearwhichfellintothecoffeebetweenmylegs,splashedandruinedthedamnphoneandDISCONNECTEDANIMPORTANTCALL!WOMENDRIVERS!!!Thepoliceshouldreallyclampdownonsuchruthlessdrivingandlevyaheavyfineonthosedrivers!5.NoRoomforaNightManyyearsago,aJewishladynamedMistressRosenbergwhocarvedsculptureforalivingwasstrandedlateonenightatafashionableresortoncapecod---onethatdiscriminatedagainstJews.Theloftydeskclerkofthemotelunfoldedhisbookletandsaid,“Sorry,noroom”TheJewishladysaid,“Butyoursignsaysthatyouhavevacancies.”Afteratransientsilence,thedeskclerkstammeredandthensaidcurtly,“YouknowthatwedonotadmitJews.Nowifyouwilltrytheothersideoftown…”MistressRosenbergstiffenednoticeablyandsaid,“I’llhaveyouknowthatIconvertedtoyourreligion.”Thedeskclerksaid,“Oh,yeah,letmegiveyoualittletest.HowwasJesusborn?”MistressRosenbergreplied,“HewasborntoavirginnamedMaryinalittletowncalledBethlehem.”“Verygood,”repliedthehotelclerk,“Tellmemore.”MistressRosenbergreplied,“Hewasborninamanger.”“That’sright,”saidthehotelclerk,“Andwhywashborninamanger?”MistressRosenbergeruptedinanger,“Becauseajerklikeyouinthehotelwouldn’tgiveaJewishladyaroomforthenight!”6.LookingforsomehelpAmaninagigantichotairballoonoverahugetractofmeadowrealizedhewaslost.Hereducedaltitudeandspottedawomanbelow.Hedescendedabitmoreandshouted,“Excuseme,canyouhelpme?IpromisedafriendIwouldmeethimanhourago,butIdon’tknowwhereIam.”Thewomanbelowreplied,“Youareinahotairballoonhoveringapproximately30feetabovetheground.Youarebetween40and41degreesnorthlatitudeandbetween59and60degreeswestlongitude.”“Youmustbeanastronomer.”saidtheballoonist.“Iam,”repliedthewoman,“Howdidyouknow?”“Well,”answeredtheballoonist,“everythingyoutoldmeistechnicallycorrect,butIhavenoideawhattomakeofyourinformation,andthefactisIamstilllost.Fr