搜索
临终前最后悔的五件事（中英文对照版）最近有一篇文章在Facebook、twitter上频频被转，名叫“Nurserevealsthetop5regretspeoplemakeontheirdeathbed”。它的原文是一名叫BronnieWare的护士写的。BronnieWare专门照顾那些临终病人，所以有机会听到很多人临终前说出他们一生裡最后悔的事。她作了一个概括，有5件事是大多数人最后悔的。很好奇为什麽这麽多人转载它，也许，因为这是一种你永远无法提前经历的事吧。你不会时常面对别人的死亡，你更不怎麽时常有机会听到一个临终前的人告诉你他最后悔的事是什麽。而即便你听到，你又会觉得自己来日方长。我们似乎永远无法感同身受；也许，只有我们自己的生命到了尽头时，我们才会意识到自己究竟错过了什麽，最后悔什麽。我最近收到不同朋友发来的中英文不同版本，现综合如下转发与大家共享。*********************TopFiveRegrets-ByBronnieWareFormanyyearsIworkedinpalliativecare.Mypatientswerethosewhohadgonehometodie.Someincrediblyspecialtimeswereshared.Iwaswiththemforthelastthreetotwelveweeksoftheirlives.Peoplegrowalotwhentheyarefacedwiththeirownmortality.Ilearnednevertounderestimatesomeone'scapacityforgrowth.Somechangeswerephenomenal.Eachexperiencedavarietyofemotions,asexpected,denial,fear,anger,remorse,moredenialandeventuallyacceptance.Everysinglepatientfoundtheirpeacebeforetheydepartedthough,everyoneofthem.Whenquestionedaboutanyregretstheyhadoranythingtheywoulddodifferently,commonthemessurfacedagainandagain.Herearethemostcommonfive:1.IwishI'dhadthecouragetolivealifetruetomyself,notthelifeothersexpectedofmeThiswasthemostcommonregretofall.Whenpeoplerealizethattheirlifeisalmostoverandlookbackclearlyonit,itiseasytoseehowmanydreamshavegoneunfulfilled.Mostpeoplehavehadnothonoredevenahalfoftheirdreamsandhadtodieknowingthatitwasduetochoicestheyhadmade,ornotmade.Itisveryimportanttotryandhonoratleastsomeofyourdreamsalongtheway.Fromthemomentthatyouloseyourhealth,itistoolate.Healthbringsafreedomveryfewrealize,untiltheynolongerhaveit.我希望當初我有勇氣過自己真正想要的生活，而不是別人希望我過的生活。這是所有後悔的事中最常聽到的。心理學上有個理論，較之那些我們做過的事，人們後悔的往往是那些沒做的事。所以當人們在生命盡頭往回看時，往往會發現有好多夢想應該實現，卻沒有實現。你的生活方式、你的工作、你的感情、你的伴侶，其實我們多少人過著的是別人希望你過的生活，而不是自己真正想要的生活——又可能，一直以來你把別人希望你過的生活當作是你想要的生活。當你疾病纏身時，才發現其實自己應該而且可以放下很多顧慮追求你要的生活，似乎已經晚了一點。2.IwishIdidn'tworksohardThiscamefromeverymalepatientthatInursed.Theymissedtheirchildren'syouthandtheirpartner'scompanionship.Womenalsospokeofthisregret.Butasmostwerefromanoldergeneration,manyofthefemalepatientshadnotbeenbreadwinners.AllofthemenInurseddeeplyregrettedspendingsomuchoftheirlivesonthetreadmillofaworkexistence.Bysimplifyingyourlifestyleandmakingconsciouschoicesalongtheway,itispossibletonotneedtheincomethatyouthinkyoudo.Andbycreatingmorespaceinyourlife,youbecomehappierandmoreopentonewopportunities,onesmoresuitedtoyournewlifestyle.我希望當初我沒有花這麼多精力在工作上。Ware說這是她照顧過的每一個男病人會說的話。因為工作，他們錯過了關注孩子成長的樂趣，錯過了愛人溫暖的陪伴，這是他們最深的後悔與愧疚。其實對於現在的職業女性來說，這也將成為一個問題。如果把你的生活變簡單些，你也許會發現自己在做很多你以為你需要做其實不需要你做的事。騰出那些事佔的空間，可能你會過得開心一點。3.IwishI'dhadthecouragetoexpressmyfeelingsManypeoplesuppressedtheirfeelingsinordertokeeppeacewithothers.Asaresult,theysettledforamediocreexistenceandneverbecamewhotheyweretrulycapableofbecoming.Manydevelopedillnessesrelatingtothebitternessandresentmenttheycarriedasaresult.Wecannotcontrolthereactionsofothers.However,althoughpeoplemayinitiallyreactwhenyouchangethewayyouarebyspeakinghonestly,intheenditraisestherelationshiptoawholenewandhealthierlevel.Eitherthatoritreleasestheunhealthyrelationshipfromyourlife.Eitherway,youwin.我希望當初我能有勇氣表達我的感受。太多的人壓抑自己的感受與想法，只是為了「天下太平」，不與別人產生矛盾。漸漸他們就成了中庸之輩，無法成為他們可以成為的自己。其實，有很多疾病與長期壓抑憤怒與消極情緒有關。也許當你直言不諱，你會得罪某些人。但可能從此以後因為你的中肯，你們不打不相識；又或者翻臉，正好讓你擺脫這種需要你壓抑自己感受才能維持的累人關係。不管哪一種結果，你都是贏家，不是嗎？——不過當然，直言不諱還是有底線的。4.IwishIhadstayedintouchwithmyfriendsOftentheywouldnottrulyrealizethefullbenefitsofoldfriendsuntiltheirdyingweeksanditwasnotalwayspossibletotrackthemdown.Manyhadbecomesocaughtupintheirownlivesthattheyhadletgoldenfriendshipsslipbyovertheyears.Thereweremanydeepregretsaboutnotgivingfriendshipsthetimeandeffortthattheydeserved.Everyonemissestheirfriendswhentheyaredying.Itiscommonforanyoneinabusylifestyletoletfriendshipsslip.Butwhenyouarefacedwithyourapproachingdeath,thephysicaldetailsoflifefallaway.Peopledowanttogettheirfinancialaffairsinorderifpossible.Butitisnotmoneyorstatusthatholdsthetrueimportanceforthem.Theywanttogetthingsinordermoreforthebenefitofthosetheylove.Usuallythough,theyaretooillandwearytoevermanagethistask.Itisallcomesdowntoloveandrelationshipsintheend.Thatisallthatremainsinthefinalweeks,loveandrelationships.我希望當初我能和朋友保持聯繫。老朋友的好，我們總要到自己有事了的時候才會想到。多少人因為自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾經閃亮的友情。很多人臨終前終於放下錢、放下權，卻放不下心中的情感與牽掛。朋友也好，愛人也罷，其實生命最後的日子裡，他們才是我們最深的惦念。5.IwishthatIhadletmyselfbehappierThisisasurprisinglycommonone.Manydidnotrealizeuntiltheendthathappinessisachoice.Theyhadstayedstuckinoldpatternsandhabits.Theso-called'comfort'offamiliarityoverflowedintotheiremotions,aswellastheirphysicallives.Fearofchangehadthempretendingtoothers,andtotheirselves,thattheywerecontent.Whendeepwithin,theylongedtolaughproperlyandhavesillinessintheirlifeagain.Whenyouareonyourdeathbed,whatothersthinkofyouisalongwayfromyourmind.Howwonderfultobeabletoletgoandsmileagain,longbeforeyouaredying.我希望當初我能讓自己活過開心點。也許有點出乎意料，但這一條也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最後才發現，快樂是選擇。他們在自己既定習慣和生活方式中太久了，習慣了掩飾，習慣了偽裝，習慣了在人前堆起笑臉。他們以為是生活讓他們不快樂，其實是他們自己讓自己不快樂了。是只有臨終的時候才會發現，別人怎麼看你又有什麼關係呢，傻也好，怪也罷，能有真心的笑，比什麼都值得。****************Lifeisachoice.生活是一种选择ItisYOURlife.这是你的人生Chooseconsciously,choosewisely,choosehonestl