The_Catcher_in_the_Rye

THECATCHERINTHERYEbyJ.D.SalingerTOMYMOTHER1Ifyoureallywanttohearaboutit,thefirstthingyou'llprobablywanttoknowiswhereIwasborn,anwhatmylousychildhoodwaslike,andhowmyparentswereoccupiedandallbeforetheyhadme,andallthatDavidCopperfieldkindofcrap,butIdon'tfeellikegoingintoit,ifyouwanttoknowthetruth.Inthefirstplace,thatstuffboresme,andinthesecondplace,myparentswouldhaveabouttwohemorrhagesapieceifItoldanythingprettypersonalaboutthem.They'requitetouchyaboutanythinglikethat,especiallymyfather.They'reniceandall--I'mnotsayingthat--butthey'realsotouchyashell.Besides,I'mnotgoingtotellyoumywholegoddamautobiographyoranything.I'lljusttellyouaboutthismadmanstuffthathappenedtomearoundlastChristmasjustbeforeIgotprettyrun-downandhadtocomeouthereandtakeiteasy.Imeanthat'sallItoldD.B.about,andhe'smybrotherandall.He'sinHollywood.Thatisn'ttoofarfromthiscrumbyplace,andhecomesoverandvisitsmepracticallyeveryweekend.He'sgoingtodrivemehomewhenIgohomenextmonthmaybe.HejustgotaJaguar.OneofthoselittleEnglishjobsthatcandoaroundtwohundredmilesanhour.Itcosthimdamnnearfourthousandbucks.He'sgotalotofdough,now.Hedidn'tuseto.Heusedtobejustaregularwriter,whenhewashome.Hewrotethisterrificbookofshortstories,TheSecretGoldfish,incaseyouneverheardofhim.ThebestoneinitwasTheSecretGoldfish.Itwasaboutthislittlekidthatwouldn'tletanybodylookathisgoldfishbecausehe'dboughtitwithhisownmoney.Itkilledme.Nowhe'soutinHollywood,D.B.,beingaprostitute.Ifthere'sonethingIhate,it'sthemovies.Don'tevenmentionthemtome.WhereIwanttostarttellingisthedayIleftPenceyPrep.PenceyPrepisthisschoolthat'sinAgerstown,Pennsylvania.Youprobablyheardofit.You'veprobablyseentheads,anyway.Theyadvertiseinaboutathousandmagazines,alwaysshowingsomehotshotguyonahorsejumpingoverafence.LikeasifallyoueverdidatPenceywasplaypoloallthetime.Ineverevenoncesawahorseanywhereneartheplace.Andunderneaththeguyonthehorse'spicture,italwayssays:Since1888wehavebeenmoldingboysintosplendid,clear-thinkingyoungmen.Strictlyforthebirds.Theydon'tdoanydamnmoremoldingatPenceythantheydoatanyotherschool.AndIdidn'tknowanybodytherethatwassplendidandclear-thinkingandall.Maybetwoguys.Ifthatmany.AndtheyprobablycametoPenceythatway.Anyway,itwastheSaturdayofthefootballgamewithSaxonHall.ThegamewithSaxonHallwassupposedtobeaverybigdealaroundPencey.Itwasthelastgameoftheyear,andyouweresupposedtocommitsuicideorsomethingifoldPenceydidn'twin.Irememberaroundthreeo'clockthatafternoonIwasstandingwaythehellupontopofThomsenHill,rightnexttothiscrazycannonthatwasintheRevolutionaryWarandall.Youcouldseethewholefieldfromthere,andyoucouldseethetwoteamsbashingeachotherallovertheplace.Youcouldn'tseethegrandstandtoohot,butyoucouldhearthemallyelling,deepandterrificonthePenceyside,becausepracticallythewholeschoolexceptmewasthere,andscrawnyandfaggyontheSaxonHallside,becausethevisitingteamhardlyeverbroughtmanypeoplewiththem.Therewerenevermanygirlsatallatthefootballgames.Onlyseniorswereallowedtobringgirlswiththem.Itwasaterribleschool,nomatterhowyoulookedatit.Iliketobesomewhereatleastwhereyoucanseeafewgirlsaroundonceinawhile,evenifthey'reonlyscratchingtheirarmsorblowingtheirnosesorevenjustgigglingorsomething.OldSelmaThurmer--shewastheheadmaster'sdaughter--showedupatthegamesquiteoften,butshewasn'texactlythetypethatdroveyoumadwithdesire.Shewasaprettynicegirl,though.IsatnexttoheronceinthebusfromAgerstownandwesortofstruckupaconversation.Ilikedher.Shehadabignoseandhernailswereallbittendownandbleedy-lookingandshehadonthosedamnfalsiesthatpointallovertheplace,butyoufeltsortofsorryforher.WhatIlikedabouther,shedidn'tgiveyoualotofhorsemanureaboutwhatagreatguyherfatherwas.Sheprobablyknewwhataphonyslobhewas.ThereasonIwasstandingwayuponThomsenHill,insteadofdownatthegame,wasbecauseI'djustgotbackfromNewYorkwiththefencingteam.Iwasthegoddammanagerofthefencingteam.Verybigdeal.We'dgoneintoNewYorkthatmorningforthisfencingmeetwithMcBurneySchool.Only,wedidn'thavethemeet.Ileftallthefoilsandequipmentandstuffonthegoddamsubway.Itwasn'tallmyfault.Ihadtokeepgettinguptolookatthismap,sowe'dknowwheretogetoff.SowegotbacktoPenceyaroundtwo-thirtyinsteadofarounddinnertime.Thewholeteamostracizedmethewholewaybackonthetrain.Itwasprettyfunny,inaway.TheotherreasonIwasn'tdownatthegamewasbecauseIwasonmywaytosaygood-bytooldSpencer,myhistoryteacher.Hehadthegrippe,andIfiguredIprobablywouldn'tseehimagaintillChristmasvacationstarted.HewrotemethisnotesayinghewantedtoseemebeforeIwenthome.HeknewIwasn'tcomingbacktoPencey.Iforgottotellyouaboutthat.Theykickedmeout.Iwasn'tsupposedtocomebackafterChristmasvacationonaccountofIwasflunkingfoursubjectsandnotapplyingmyselfandall.Theygavemefrequentwarningtostartapplyingmyself--especiallyaroundmidterms,whenmyparentscameupforaconferencewitholdThurmer--butIdidn'tdoit.SoIgottheax.TheygiveguystheaxquitefrequentlyatPencey.Ithasaverygoodacademicrating,Pencey.Itreallydoes.Anyway,itwasDecemberandall,anditwascoldasawitch'steat,especiallyontopofthatstupidhill.Ionlyhadonmyreversibleandnoglovesoranything.Theweekbeforethat,somebody'dstolenmycamel's-haircoatrightoutofmyroom,withmyfur-linedg