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U2AAchild'sclutterawaitsanadult'sreturnIwatchherbackhernewtruckoutofthedriveway.Thevehicleistoolarge,tooexpensive.She'drefusedtoconsiderapracticalcarwithgoodgasefficiencyandeasytopark.It'sbecauseofme,Ithink.Sheboughtittoshowmethatshecould.I'm18,she'dtoldmesooftenthatmyteethached.Iamanadult!18Ithought,isthattrue?Justyesterdayyouwatchedsomecartoons.Whatchangedbetweenyesterdayandtoday?Todayshe'sgone,offtobeanadultfarawayfromme.I'mgladshe'sgone.Itmeansshemadeit,andthatI'mfinallyfreeof18yearsofresponsibilities.AndyetIwonderifshecouldtakegoodcareofherself.18Sheleftamess.Herbathroomisanembarrassmentofdamptowels,rustedshavingblades,hairinthesink,andnearlyemptytubesoftoothpaste.Ibringaboxofbigblackgarbagebagsupstairs.Eyeshadow,facecream,nailpolish-allgointothetrash.Idumpdrawers,sweepshelvesclearandcleanthesink.WhenIamfinished,itisasneatandimpersonalasahotelbathroom.InherbedroomIfindmismatchedsocksunderherbedandpurplepantsontheclosetfloor.Deskdrawersarefilledwithschoolpapers,filedbyyearandsubject.Icatchmyselfreadingthroughpoemsandessays,admiringhighscoresontestsandreadinghername,printedortypedneatlyintheupperright-handcornerofeachpaper.Ipackthedeskcontentsintoabox.Sixmonths,Ithink.Iwillgivehersixmonthstocollectherbelongings,andthenIwillthrowthemallaway.Thatisfair.Grown-upspayforstorage.Ihavetopauseatthebooks.Comicbooks,teenfiction,romanticnovels,historicalnovels,andtextbooks.Alifetimeofreading;eachbookbeloved.Iwanttobepractical,tostufftheminpapersacksfortheusedbookstore.ButIlovebooksasmuchasshedoes,soIstackthemontoasinglebookshelftodealwithlater.Igoforherclothes.Dresses,sweaters,andshoesshehasn'twornsinceseventhgradeareplacedintogarbagebags.Iamaplagueoflocustsemptyingthecloset.Twopilesgrowtoclumsyheights:oneforcharity,theothertrash.Therearemoreshoes,stuffedanimals,largeandsmallposters,hairbands,andpinkhaircurlers.ThejobgrowslargerthelongerIamatit.Howcanonegirlcollectsomuchinonly18years?18Istuffthegarbagebagsuntiltheplasticstrains.Ihaulthemdownthestairs,twobagsatatime.Donationstocharitygointothetrunkofmycar;trashgoestothecurb.I'mearningmyselfsweatandsoreshoulders.Sheleftthebedroomaridiculousmess,thecomforteronthefloor,thesheetstossedaside.Istripoffthecomforter,blanket,sheets,andpillows.Onceshestartsfeedingcoinsintolaundrymachines,she'llappreciatetheyearsofcleanclothesI'veprovidedforfree.Iwillturnherroomintoacraftsroom.OrcreatethefancyguestroomI'vealwayswanted.Iturnthebedover.AlargebrownenvelopeismarkedDONOTTHROWAWAY.Iopenit.Morepapers.Idumpthecontentsontothefloor.Thereareoldfamilyphotographs,letters,greetingcards,andlovenotesfromustoher.Therearecomicsclippedfromnewspapersandmagazines.Everysingleiteminthisenvelopehaspassedfromourhandstohers.Theseareallthingsthatwegaveher.Suddenly,Ifeelveryemotional.DONOTTHROWAWAY.Mykid-myclutterbug-knowsmetoowell.AsIreadthroughthecardsandnotes,Ithinkmaybethetruckwasn'tsuchabadidea,afterall.Maybeithelpshertofeellesssmallinabigworld.Ireversemyselfandbringbackthegarbagebagsfromthecarandthecurb.Clothesandshoesgobackintothecloset.Iremakethebedandpileitwithstuffedanimals.Myhusbandcomeshomeandcallsupthestairs.Juststraighteningup,Itellhim.Canyoufindsomeboxesforherstuff?Hebringsupboxesfromthebasement.Sheleftamess,hesays.Idon'tmind,Ireply.Silence.Thenhesayssoftly,She'snotcomingback.Ifeelmythroattightenatthesadnessinhisvoice.Itryhardtokeepbackmytears.Mylittlebaby,mydependentchild,isn'tcomingback.Butsomedaymydaughter,theindependentwoman,willreturnhome.Tokensofherchildhoodwillawaither.Sowillwe,withopenarms.U2BTimeslowsdownDaddy,let'stakeawalk.It'sanAprildayinVirginia.Henods,putshishandsonthearmsofhiswheelchair,whisperssomethingthatmakeslittlesense.Itrytohelphimup,butheistooheavyandlimp.Comeforawalk,andthen-I'vebroughtyouasurprise.Thewhitecurtainssurgeinthebreeze.Shivering,hecomplainsit'schilly.It'scold,I'mtired.Can'twegohomenow?Suddenlywe'refarawayinatimelongpastinpartofaharborI'veneverseenbefore.December,Chicago,I'mfive,andcold.Onegloveislost.Myfeetaretired.Hislegsarelonger;hestridesquicklythroughmeltingsnow,towardbuildingslikeairplaneshedswithimmensedoors.ThisisthemostexcitingplaceIhaveeverbeen.Suddenlymyfatigueisgone.Icouldwalkalonghereforever,atleastuntilIfindouthowtogetaboardoneoftheboats.Weslowdownourpace.Smallershedsnow.Agreendiner.Smellsoffishandsmoke.Weenteralittlehut.Barrelsofsaltywater,stringbagsofshellfish,bundlesoffishlaidoutonice.Daddy,lookatthatsnake!No,that'saneel,saysDaddy.Smoked.We'lltakeaportionhomeforsupper.Icertainlywon'teatthat!Allright,hesays,andcarriesthesmellypackage.Aswewalkback,hetellsmeaboutmigrationsofeelstotheSargassoSea:howeelscomedownDalmatianriversandswimacrosstheMediterraneanandthenthewholeAtlantic,untiltheyreachthewarmSargassoSea.Heretheylaytheireggs,andthenthebabyeelsswimbacktothenativeriversoftheirparents.Backatlastintheapartment,heunwrapstheeel,openshispocketknifeandslicescarefully.Iwon'teatit,Isaysuspiciously.Tryonebite,justforme.Iwon'tlikeit.Whilehehangsupourcoats,Itestonepinch.Smelly,smoky,andsalty.Hegoesintothekitchentoheatmilkformeandteaforhimself.Itestano