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ThreeElephantPowerandOtherStories1ThreeElephantPowerandOtherStoriesAndrewBarton`Banjo'Paterson[AustralianPoet,Reporter--1864-1941.]ThreeElephantPowerandOtherStories2ThreeElephantPowerThemthings,saidAlfredthechauffeur,tappingthespeedindicatorwithhisfingers,themthingsareallrightforthepolice.But,Lord,youcanfix'emupifyouwantto.DidyoueverhearaboutHenery,thatusedtodriveforoldJohnBull--aboutHeneryandtheelephant?Alfredwaschauffeurtoafriendofminewhoownedaverypowerfulcar.Alfredwaspartofthatcar.Weirdlyintelligent,ofpoorphysique,hemighthavebeenanyagefromfifteentoeighty.Hiseducationhadbeensomewhathurried,buttherewasnodoubtastohismechanicalability.Hetooktoacarlikeayoungducktowater.Hetalkedmotor,thoughtmotor,andwouldhaveaccepted--Iwon'tsaywithenthusiasm,forAlfred'smottowas`Niladmirari'--butwithouthesitation,anoffertodriveinthegreatestraceintheworld.Hecoulddrivereallywell,too;asforbeliefinhimself,aftersixmonths'apprenticeshipinagaragehewaspreparedtovivisectasix-cylinderenginewiththeconfidenceofadiplomaedbachelorofengineering.Barringatendencytoflashdriving,andadelightinpersecutingslowcarsbydrivingjustinfrontofthemandlettingthemcomeupandenjoyhisdust,andthenshootingawayagain,hewasarespectablememberofsociety.Whenhisbosswasinthecarhecloakedthenaturalferocityofhisinstincts;butthisday,withonlymyselfonboard,andaclearrunofahundredandtwentymilesuptothestationbeforehim,heletherloose,confidentthatifanytroubleoccurredIwouldbeheldmorallyresponsible.Asweflewpastasomnolentbushpub,Alfred,whistlingsoftly,leantforwardandturnedonalittlemoreoil.YouneverheardaboutHeneryandtheelephant?hesaid.Itwasdeadfunny.Henerywasabushwacker,butcleanmadonmotorin'.Hewaswoodandwaterjoeyatsomesquatter'splaceuntilheseenamotor-cargopastoneday,thefirstthatevertheyhadinthedistrick.`That'smygame,'saysHenery;`nomorewoodandwaterjoeyforme.'SohecomestotownandgetsajoboffMilesthathadthatgarageatThreeElephantPowerandOtherStories3thebackofAllison's.AnoldcovethattheycalledJohnBull--Idon'tknowhisrightname,hewasafatoldcove--heusedtocometheretohirecars,andHeneryusedtodrivehim.AndthisoldJohnBullhehadlotsofstuff,soatlasthereckonshe'sgoingtogetacarforhimself,andhepromisesHeneryajobtodriveit.AqueercovethisHenerywas--halfmad,Ithink,butthebesthandwithacareverIsee.Whilehehadbeentalkingwetoppedahill,andopenedupanewstretchofblue-greygranite-likeroad.Downatthefootofthehillwasateamster'swaggonincamp;thehorsesintheirharnessmunchingattheirnose-bags,whiletheteamsterandamatewereboilingabillyalittleofftothesideoftheroad.Therewasaturnintheroadjustbelowthewaggonwhichlookedabitsharp,soofcourseAlfredboredownonitlikeawhirlwind.Thebigstupidteam-horseshuddledtogetherandpushedeachotherawkwardlyaswepassed.Adogthathadbeensleepingintheshadeofthewaggonsprangoutrightinfrontofthecar,andwasexterminatedwithouteverknowingwhatstruckhim.Therewasjustroomtoclearthetailofthewaggonandnegotiatetheturn.Alfred,withthecalmdecisionofaNapoleon,swungroundthebendtofindthattheteamster'shack,fastasleep,wastiedtothetailofthewaggon.Nothingbutalightning-liketwistofthesteering-wheelpreventedourscoopingtheoldanimalup,andtakinghimonboardasapassenger.Asitwas,wecarriedoffmostofhistailasatrophyonthebrassofthelamp.Theoldsteed,thusrudelyawakened,lashedoutgoodandhard,butbythattimeweweregone,andhemissedthecarbyaquarterofamile.DuringthisstrenuousepisodeAlfredneverrelaxedhisprofessionalstolidity,and,whenwewereclear,wentonwithhisstoryinthetoneofamanwhofoundlifewantinginanimation.Well,atfust,theoldmanwouldonlybuyoneoftheselittleeight-horserubby-dubbysthatgostrugglin'up'illswithadeath-rattleinitsthroat,andallthepeopleinbuggiespassin'it.O'coursethatdidn'tsuitHenery.Heusedtogetthatspikedwhenacarpassedhim,he'dnearlygomad.Andonedayhenearlygotthesackfordodgin'aboutupasteep'illinfrontofoneo'thembigtwenty-fourDarracqs,fullof'owlin'toffs,andnotlettin''emgetachancetogopasttilltheygottothetop.ButatlastheThreeElephantPowerandOtherStories4persuadedoldJohnBulltolethimgotoEnglandandbuyacarforhim.Hewastodoayearintheshops,andpickupallthewrinkles,andgetacarfortheoldman.Bitbetterthanwoodandwaterjoeying,wasn'tit?Ourprogressherewasbarredbyourroundingacornerrightontoaflockofsheep,thatatoncepackedtogetherintoasolidmassinfrontofus,blockingthewholeroadfromfencetofence.Sillycowso'things,ain'tthey?saidAlfred,puttingonhisemergencybrake,andskiddinguptillthecarcamesoftlytorestagainstthecushion-likemass--amuchquickerstopthananyhorse-drawnvehiclecouldhavemade.Afewsheepwerecrushedsomewhat,butitiswellknownthatasheepispracticallyindestructiblebyviolence.WhateverAlfred'sfaultswere,hecertainlycoulddrive.Well,hewenton,lightingacigarette,unheedingthegrowlsofthedrovers,whoweretryingtogetthesheeptopassthecar,well,asIwassayin',HenerywenttoEngland,andhegotacar.Doyouknowwothegot?No,Idon't.'Egotaninety,saidAlfredslowly,givingtimeforthewordstosoakin.Aninety!Whatdoyoumean?'Egotaninety--aninety-horse-powerracin'enginewotwasmadeforsomeAmericanmillionaireandwasn'tasfastaswotsomeothermillionairehad,sohesolditforthepriceoftheiron,andHenerygotit,andhadabodybuiltforit,andhecomesouthereandtellsusal